How To Not Be A Douchebag at SXSW Wrap-Up

Filed Under Education, Personal, SXSW on 2010-03-18, 20:06 | 42 Comments


Image by Scott Beale

The first ever “How To Not Be A Douchebag at SXSW” session went incredibly well! Violet Blue, John Adams, and I led a Core Conversation this year at SXSW Interactive with the hopes that we would raise awareness and help with douchebaggery reduction. We had a full room with mostly newbies, but a few SXSW veterans and even some reformed douchebags showed up. The core conversation was the perfect format and really encouraged discussion and some debate.

You can listen to the talk or download it.

In preparation for this session, I realized that a lot of being a douchebag could be boiled down into three realms:

Entitlement

Douchebags generally act like they are entitled and that the world should stop for them because they are so important. Take a second every now and then to reflect on how you may be acting. Don’t be that self-entitled douchebag arguing with the doorman, “Don’t you know who I am?!” Douchebags also have an “undue sense of accomplishment” that they think entitles them to something even though they’re just riding coattails.

Manners

Common sense manners are huge! Please, thank you, don’t cut in line, etc. Oh, and the biggest thing when we’re guests in Austin? TIP! Tip your waitresses, the bar staff, and especially those working open bars. Not only is it nice, you never know when it might come back around and help you out, i.e. quickly getting drinks for that important business client. Treat the volunteers well and thank them for their hard work!

Motivation

Check your motivation when interacting with people. Are you genuinely interested in them and what they have to say? Or are you just trying to gauge whether or not they are worth your time? According to Google we’ve come up with a new term: “badge surfer”. A badge surfer is someone who is constantly checking people’s badges, even before getting introduced to them to see who they are and what company they work for. It’s fair to check badges later when you may have missed a name or something, but don’t use them as a measurement of whether you should talk to someone.

I think if you keep these three things in mind (EMM), then you can avoid a lot of douchebag behavior at tech conferences like SXSW. But that wasn’t all we covered in the conversation. Some other great points were brought up:

  • Douchebags use terms like expert, guru, ninja to describe themselves and have “MAS“

  • Douchebags hand out unsolicited business cards before engaging in the conversation with someone. Respect someone’s approach to business cards. Some people love them, some hate them. Also respect that not everyone wants to instantly hand out their contact info.

  • Douchebags are allergic to transparency

  • Douchebags use their sexuality to sell you a product. (“There’s a thin line between douchebag and booth babe”)

  • Don’t game and cheat on social media. In a douchebag move, Adobe had claimed several mayorships on Foursquare at SXSW.

  • Douchebags lack empathy. Many rules are meant to be broken, but in a way that doesn’t screw anyone over.

  • Know what you’re talking about when trying to pitch your product or service. Admit when you don’t know what someone is talking about.

  • A douchebag act doesn’t instantly make you a douchebag. Make an effort to politely call people on douchebag moves, but respect that some douchebags might be beyond saving.

  • If you’re going to take a picture or video, ask someone first!

  • When asking questions at a panel, don’t pitch your company/service. If you want to promote your own company, do your own panel to share your knowledge.

  • Don’t start off with “This may sound redundant” and don’t monopolize the microphone.

  • Try not to monopolize people’s time after panels. Make a personal connection and pass on your contact info. Email a panelist after the craziness of SXSW to reconnect.

  • It’s acceptable to ask Twitter and friends for invites to parties, but don’t overdo it and spam your followers.

  • Don’t anonymously be negative on the backchannel at sessions. If you see chatter on the backchannel that’s not being addressed, stand up and bring it to the panelist’s attention during questions.

  • Don’t tweet every other sentence at a session. Highlights are good, but constant chatter is useless.

  • Don’t do multiple check-ins at the same place. Don’t connect everything (Foursquare, Gowalla, Twitter, Facebook, etc). Duplicate information cross-posted to multiple services is annoying.

  • Don’t tweet at the urinal. Don’t take calls in the stalls.

  • Let people know you might be tweeting at a higher rate than normal while at SXSW. In the past TwitterSnooze was handy but they’re down. It looks like Muuter might be a good solution. Other’s have expressed success using lists.

  • When trying to get a personal introduction or someone to make a blog post about your stuff, overwhelm them with your passion and recognize that you’re asking someone to use their social capital for you.

  • “It’s South By Southwest, not Girls Gone Wild”

  • Be careful when talking with someone you’re trying to make a more personal connection with. If you’re asking for contact info they may think it’s for business.

  • You can’t have a real date at SXSW. There’s too much going on, people have work and networking to do. Try to grab coffee or lunch.

    • When we got done discussing douchebaggery we handed out some buttons and stickers. (Big thanks to Snarky McF for making the buttons!) It was great to do this panel on the first day as we got to see all sorts of impact over the rest of the week via Twitter and blog posts:

    “Finally, I think I understand not only what a douchebag is, but why douche bags flock to the tech and media scene. I am writing from the blogger lounge at South by Southwest (Interactive) 2010, where people laugh at the pin I’m wearing: “Not a douchebag.” Thanks to a pivotal panel I attended the first day of the conference, I am a proud owner of this pin.” (Read Bernice Imei Hsu’s full post: I Am Not THAT Douche Bag (And Other Related Blurts))

    Chris Pirillo:

    @DavidReeves tweeted “You didn’t attend the “How not to be a douchebag” session at #sxsw. Participate in the conversation before you give me a card, a-hole.”

    @KatherineD tweeted “Wow, people at mic in @garyvee presentation can’t seem 2 avoid plugging.They didn’t go 2 the “how not to be a douchebag” panel I guess #sxsw”

    Barry Moltz shared some of the things covered in our session in his post How Not to Be a Douche Bag at a Trade Event

    And even Robert Scoble chose a “douchebag” pin when I gave him the choice:


    image by Rod Begbie

    All in all we had overwhelmingly positive feedback from people and it was brought up several times over the week. I’m considering doing this again next year and would love to hear people’s feedback (both positive and negative) on the session. I know next time I’ll remember to introduce us and what we do (*facepalm*) and will try to keep things more SXSW specific.

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    How To Not Be A Douchebag at SXSW – Friday, March 12th, 5pm

    Filed Under Geek, Personal, SXSW on 2010-03-09, 18:28 | 6 Comments

    Ok, one last warning! Our “core conversation” on How To Not Be A Douchebag at SXSW is only a few days away. Violet Blue, John Adams, and I (along with insight from Ben Metcalfe) have put together what we think will be a a great panel.

    We’re scheduled for Friday, March 12th at 5pm in Courtyard Rio Grande B. Come early to grab a seat as 99 people have already said they’re coming! Official page is over here if you want to add it to your schedule on my.sxsw.com.

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    Video of San Francisco Before and After the Earthquake of 1906

    Filed Under SF Bay Area, Video on 2010-03-08, 12:56 | 4 Comments

    I love old footage of the early 1900s, especially of San Francisco. You may have recognize part of the above video with an unknown filmmaker’s trip down Market St from the Prelinger Archives. But I didn’t know there was a second film taken of the same trip down Market St a year later, after the Great Earthquake of 1906. Matt Lake combined these two films into what you see above, highlighting the significant change in Market St.

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    No BME World Tour For Me

    Filed Under Body Modification, Personal on 2010-03-08, 00:23 | 10 Comments

    For those that hadn’t heard through the Twitters and Facebooks and whatnot:

    Hey,

    I just wanted to say I think that you did a really awesome job and I really wanted to take you along but it just came down to my gut feeling on who I thought would work really well together and I think that my final four really did. The other potential final four that was going to go, you were a part of it. It was just a totally different dynamic and one that was more of a “traditional BME” cast of characters.

    Unfortunately I’m trying something different with this group and this challenge. Who knows though, I hope that you can kind of be “on call” almost in case it turns out that I need a back up member. You’re definitely #1 on my list. You were one of the finalists that I was trying to make a 5th position for but I just didn’t have the funds to pull it off.

    Thank you again for applying and I hope that if I do this again in the future, that you’re willing to apply again.

    Rachel

    Oh well, guess this means I get to spend the next three months planning a wedding, helping organize another international fire art run, getting 2pir rebuilt, giving a talk at SXSW, revamping my business (or finding a new job), and enjoying San Francisco. A huge thanks to everyone’s support and words of encouragement through the whole process!

    You can check out who won over on the ModBlog post.

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    A Day in the Life of Ed: 2pir Testing

    Filed Under Body Modification, Fire, Fire Art, Personal on 2010-03-02, 20:27 | 5 Comments

    The following is my “extra credit assignment” for the BME World Tour. Thanks to everyone for their support, I’m one of the 9 finalists!! We were asked to do a video, photos, and blog post of our day in order to pick the final 4 (or 5!) people who get to travel the world.

    When I got word that I was in the top ten finalists, my heart skipped another beat. Closer and closer to a trip around the world. I could feel my passport tugging on my sleeve, “can we go!? can we go!? please please please!”, but I calmly explained to my anthropomorphized government document that the decision was not up to me. I still had one more assignment to prove I was worthy of such a trip: a blog entry, video, and photos of a day in my life. Luckily the next day had potential to be interesting enough to share with the Internet.

    My day started with my fiancée, Heather, waking me up early with the video camera rolling. It was one of those cherished beautiful San Francisco days where the sun was shining and it was actually warm. In between my half-awake grunts, she said goodbye as she was off to hike around Alamere Falls with friends. Shortly after she departed, I crawled out of bed and made myself a gourmet breakfast of Lucky Charms and soy milk. A quick shower and shave and I grudgingly sat down in front of the computer to do some work. The curse of working for yourself is that every day is a possible workday. Luckily addressing my emails and other chores only took about 2 hours this time and I was soon out the door.

    Down the three flights of stairs with a laptop, camera, and flip video in tow; I jumped into my car and trekked across the Bay Bridge to Oakland. I was headed to NIMBY, an industrial art space in south Oakland, to work on one of Interpretive Arson’s fire art pieces, 2pir.

    For those not familiar with it, 2pir is “a blisteringly interactive large-scale fire toy”. It consists of two circles: an inner circle fitted with motion sensors and an outer circle comprised of 16 large flame effects. When a participant waves their hands, feet, or any other body part over the motion sensor it triggers a large column of flame. While on the inner platform, many people perform their best sorcerer imitation, summoning fire with their hands, while others choose to dance and twirl around, flames following their movement. The beauty of the piece is that the performance is different everytime.

    2pir was designed and built by Interpretive Arson, a Bay Area fire art group that I’m a member of. It was originally built in 2006 and has since undergone several upgrades. This year it’s time for another one of those upgrades as the ignition system was no longer up to our standards for reliability. In addition, several components needed to be upgraded in preparation for our second international run in Denmark later this year at Smukfest.

    The previous day we had spent some time finalizing a design for new flame effects and built a single prototype for testing. We wanted to make sure one new flame effect worked successfully before building the other 15. Today it was time to actually test this prototype and see how well it performed.

    Fire against the sky

    We dragged the prototype outside, hooked all the plumbing up to a tank of propane, plugged in the electronics and hit the switch. The resounding sound of combustion echoed off the walls of the warehouse. Success! But it wasn’t perfect. Ignition wasn’t 100% reliable and we wanted the best shape of fire we could get. After a period of tweaking, adjusting, and experimenting we were mostly happy with what we had. We made a quick run to Home Depot to grab a few materials and then stopped off for some burritos to refuel ourselves.

    Back at NIMBY, the sun had set and the darkness of the seemingly deserted industrial section of Oakland was just asking for some noise and light. We fired the flame effect back up and enjoyed lighting up the yard and bouncing the percussive sounds of explosive propane combustion off the walls. After a bit of fun it was back to work: grinding, cutting, drilling, and welding the frames for the new effects.

    Tom grinds

    The work went late into the night before we all decided to call it a day and I headed home. The late night drive across the Bay Bridge on the way back into San Francisco is always one of my favorites times. The bridge is relatively empty and all lit up, as are the downtown skyscrapers and streets of San Francisco. It’s a great time to turn up the music, coast over the water, meander through the empty city streets and clear my mind. My ritual-like return home always includes a hot shower before sleep and this night was no exception. After climbing into bed with Heather, the echoes of our controlled explosions rang in my ears as I drifted off to sleep.

    A selection of photos: 20100228-2pir Testing

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    I’m a Finalist for the BME World Tour!

    Filed Under Body Modification, Personal on 2010-02-26, 01:33 | 7 Comments

    The short version: Holy crap, I’m one of 18 finalists in a contest to tour the world and meet/interview/photograph/video people involved in the body modification community. It’s a trip of a lifetime. Please vote for me!

    The long version: So there’s this website called BMEzine (or just BME) that you’ve probably heard of if you’ve ever looked up info on body modification. It’s the site for body mod online and has been around for years. I’ve been reading it for as long as I can remember. They’re running a contest right now for a group of lucky winners to take a trip around the world to interview people involved in the body modification community. There are essentially 3 jobs on the tour that need to be filled: a writer, a photographer, and a videographer. I would love to jump into any of these roles and have essentially applied for them all. This is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities that comes along that are impossible to pass up. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I want this.

    In order to apply for the tour we were asked to submit an application along with an audition video. I sat down and spent almost an entire day trying to come up with an audition video I was happy with (the end result that you see above) and then I sent in my application with a long list of the stuff I’ve done. It was tough, exponentially harder than putting together a resume due to a desire to present who I really was and my personality rather than just cold, hard skills.

    Today the 18 finalists were posted to BME’s ModBlog. I’m in awesome company and there are a number of people I would really enjoy traveling with, let alone the actual trip itself. Rachel, the Editor-in-Chief of BME, is asking for everyone to vote for your top 4 favorites. If you feel I’d be suited for this job, please head over there and vote for me as well as any others that you think would be good for the tour. This opportunity really means a lot to me and I’d love to have a shot at it.

    The voting doesn’t necessarily dictate who will go in the end but it can’t hurt! But hurry, voting ends on March 1st 12:01PST so there’s only a few days to vote.

    A huge thank you to BME and Rachel for offering this contest and picking me as a finalist. Additionally, a big thanks to everyone for their positive comments and votes!

    P.S. To all you guys out there who know that PollDaddy has vulnerabilities, please don’t exploit them for my sake. I’m serious, this is too important to me for that stuff. Thanks!

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    Help Save Defenestration, A Piece of San Francisco

    Filed Under Art, SF Bay Area on 2010-02-22, 17:29 | 7 Comments

    When I first moved to San Francisco, it wasn’t long before I found myself in front of Defenestration, admiring the flying furniture. It was one of those things that made me go “wow, there’s some really cool stuff in San Francisco, this city is great!” It wasn’t until recently that I truly realized the size of the impact this piece had on the community of San Francisco when it was built 13 years ago. Simone Davalos has a great write up on Laughing Squid about the piece and many of the people involved. I highly recommend a read.

    That said, Defenestration is in danger. Many of the pieces had to be removed due to safety issues and repairing and replacing these pieces to restore the awesomeness of Defenestration is going to cost money. There’s a drive right now to raise the necessary $75,000 in order to save the piece. Donations are tax-deductible as they are sponsored by the Black Rock Arts Foundation. I urge you to donate whatever you can to help save this piece.

    There is also going to be a fundraising/exhibit opening on Friday, March 5th from 6-10pm at the 1:AM Gallery. If you miss the party, you can still catch the exhibit on Defenestration through April 2nd, 2010. Please donate to help preserve some of the art that makes San Francisco what it is.

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    Check out Zivity – 30 days for free

    Filed Under Art, Photography, Websites on 2010-02-22, 15:56 | 5 Comments


    The internet is awash in adult content, we all know that. And there’s a lot of just plain crap out there that was made to make a buck. But occasionally the adult content mixes with art and something great comes out of it. Zivity is one of those examples.

    For those not familiar, Zivity is a site where photographers and models get together and shoot some amazing photos. The site is decidedly Not Safe For Work (NSFW), so go check it out when you’re at home. Just to be clear, you’re not going to find your run of the mill porn there. Zivity encourages “photographs of women that promote their beuaty, show them respect, and meet [their] standards of tastefulness”. One of my favorite things about Zivity is the way their revenue is handled. Rather than paying a flat fee to photographers and models and then making bank off of their shoots indefinitely, they pay the photographers and models based on votes. As a user of the site, you buy votes for $1 a piece and you can then vote on your favorite models and photographers. For me personally, it’s a small way that I can help friends make a little bit of money making the art that they enjoy. The pretty pictures are an added bonus!

    So enough of the sales pitch type talk. For the record I don’t currently receive any commission on anything from Zivity (other than an account on the site), but I recommend it to people who are into this sort of thing. Cyan, the founder of Zivity, was kind enough to offer free 30 day trial accounts to readers. All you have to do is email geeked@zivity.com and ask nicely for an invite.

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    Avatar LARP

    Filed Under Funny, Video on 2010-02-13, 21:01 | 2 Comments

    It was only a matter of time, right? Pool Worldwide, a creative agency, takes us into the lives of some die-hard “Live Avatar Role Players” from Hometree, Wisconsin in this short documentary.

    via Danger Ranger

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    Large Gauge Ear Piercings + Hearing Aid

    Filed Under Body Modification, Gadgets & Hardware on 2010-02-11, 17:55 | 17 Comments

    In the past, the handicaps of people were generally politely concealed and sometimes considered embarrassing. It makes me very happy that this is changing. Now there are people like Aimee Mullins in the spotlight. For those not familiar, Aimee Mullins lost her legs at birth due to fibular hemimelia. I highly recommend watching her TED talk. Rather than let this hold her back, she has gone on to become an athlete, actress, and model who speaks all over the world about her dozen legs that have been built for her. Her legs are amazing; ranging from custom designed pieces of art, like the wooden legs carved from solid ash, to high tech legs that help her run faster than your average human. Technology has advanced to the point where what was once considered a disability is now merely an opportunity for an improvement both in function and form.

    The latest concept in this realm of body advancement are the deafinite conceptual hearing aids. As someone with ears that are already stretched to 1/2″, these things instantly caught my attention. The concept hearing aids basically combine the form and fashion of large gauge ear plugs with the technology of hearing aids which has gotten infinitely smaller over the years. Embedded in the plugs are several microphones that pick up sound, amplify it and deliver it to the wearer through a small earpiece. The result? a fashionable hearing aid that people (who are willing to stretch their ears) can show off.

    But the idea of this as just a hearing aid is short-sighted. It’s not a far leap to take this concept and make actual headphones out of this. My 1/2″ plugs are great at ensuring I don’t misplace my pen or sharpie marker, but they would be incredible if they could also function as headphones I never leave in the pocket of… which pair of pants did I wear last Tuesday? Dear tech producers: please make these. You’ll have a small niche market, but that niche will be incredibly happy and I would be willing to pay a small premium for these.

    images via designaffairs

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